Saved From Exile

 

Saved From                  

E X I L E               

Would I be able to catch your wind

On my hole filled sails?

I trail your comet stuck in the sand

Would it be if just for a moment

I could hold your wonderfully tender hand

I would chance the flight to be your man

To be your man it sounds so grand

Not that it was something I planned

No not at all I was in the middle of the riddle

Of a freefall and a self imposed un rosed

Exile

But now I’m GOD endowed and would walk a

Country mile to see your spectacular smile

To hear your soul warmed laugh

I love your amazing addition to my life

Damn if GOD aint good at HIS maddening math

Goodness if goddess in grand life changing path

Thank you Queen

Chay 2012

Going The Long Way About

   My soul is cold                                                                        

                  On the downfeather of gold

             They say that folk caint be bought

                 I cant roll over and play dead

      Even though you pissed a hole in my not yet

                            Warmed grave

The funeral you planned was an unmanned casket ruined

And exposed the holes in your basket cased painkiller laced

            Soul that I kept together and wept in weather

                      Not worth weeping over

                 Seeping over with Supernova

                         Hot with separation

      My sickening deadication to you was maddening

  Harrowed with sorrow I tried to follow your hollow bones

                 Into your personal zone of hell

                 Into which I fell from grace

                Space : the end of my kind

I find myself wondering who the hell gave me the right to

                Burn away three years on bullshit

     Fit to be tied tried and judged I still wouldn’t budge

         From the life sucking sludge that was you

     But im redempt Yes? Relit on a new GodHot fuse

                 On the refuse to die hard like I die

I fly on the fuel that you defecated on my prostrated being

And my how my soul sings

Seeing now I was fool but now Im knew

With the replacement you would be incorrect to say

You were merely a delay in my happiness

 

 

 

 

 

 

Going The Long Way About
Chay2012

American Woman-prelude

There were no ordered steps to his movement. He was jagged in motions; dizzy yet flying. Flowing yet chaotic. He was drifting toward the edge and Jenni wanted to catch him. However, she was in her own state of tonic. Her breaths were not even. Her pupils jumping in window shuttered lenses. Then, Lenny from 12th street, god of the good times, performed his encore performance by leaping 40 stories to his pie-in-the sky. Just then, Jenni sailed into a different darkness: her subconscious.

Thomas has watched over his little girl for years. He could remember back when she was eight years old, running alongside her first bike. He could remember protecting her from the bully in the neighborhood. He thought back to the time first time he could not protect his little girl. The neighbor down the street had two older boys. Thomas was always worried about them and instructed his Jenni to stay away them and the house down the street.

"Those boys are just boys" Maureen would screech in that high toned bitch-of a-voice. Thomas would always have to go work only to find his daughter by their house. "Maureen! For GOD sakes please keep the baby away from there!" he pleaded.

"oh pooh, Thomas! Sometimes, I think you love your daughter more than me!" she would bark.

That really ate Thomas up and she knew it.

One day Thomas came home from work.

"hey. Where's the baby?" he asked

"She's out." Maureen said shooing him off so she could read her Cosmo magazine.

"Sweet Pea!" Thomas called more than once.

It was after about ten minutes when he had put his exasperated hands on his hips. He would have to go find her, in this heat. He decided to leave his blazer on anyway. This way, Jenni would know that he was off work and tired. he would let her know to stay within shouting distance of the house. But he knew he missed his baby girl and nothing made him forget about the world like his little girl. He looked down the street not quite sure if the heat was getting to him already. He saw a little blonde ragdoll stumbling, like a dog he once saw get hit. His heart in his throat constricted and stopped him and almost simultaneously starting his out ambling gait. "S-swe" he muttered.

"sweet pea?" Thomas squeaked out.

It was Jenni. She looked like an animal had chewed her up and spit her back out. The left side of her head was blooded, some of which had darkened in the fury of the sun, matting to her hair. The crimson patch had its share of fresh blood, but the dark was an indicator she had been walking awhile. Thomas could see the shock in his baby's eyes. She stared forward in a dream like state almost unable to blink. Thomas got his baby to County Memorial in 13 minutes flat. After Maureen got there, he listened to his wife deflect every possible opportunity of responsibility. In fact, when Maureen cried, it was because she thought he was blaming her, not because of her daughter. When they got home a week later, Thomas put his daughter to bed. He then asked his wife to join him in the back yard. It was there another first occurred. Thomas hit his wife. he socked her right good in the jaw. He had never hit a man so hard. Then, he proceeded to kick the shit out of his wife for well over 15 minutes. She hurt for a month forward. He never left his wife and Maureen stayed. And his bitter fury and anger stayed on that backyard that night and did not follow the couple into their 25th year of marriage. Maureen never again let her daughter out of her sight. No longer did she resent her baby girl, and in fact from that day forward, she loved Jenni almost as hard as Thomas did. And they lived happily ever after. All together, but Jenni never recovered from her childhood trauma. So she became rough to handle in high school. She fell for every bad boy in the book. She began using dope and missing for days at a time. Still, thomas and maureen never stopped loving their little girl. Jenni would still graduate and somehow managed college. it was junior year, when thomas could not protect his little girl for the second time. That time was 5 years years ago, when Jenni thought she could save her friend Lenny Leon from throwing himself off a rooftop 40 stories up. Jenny managed have the sense to run down 40 flights of stairs to catch him, only to stumble into traffic right in front of the Countyline bus. So, here thomas was 10 years into not being able to save his little girl. He was the first from the hospital and his pulsating rhythmic breathing merged with the machines timely “beep beep” beeping. He nodded into his chest as he had done for the past decade. In the meanwhile several more moments had passed before Thomas was awakened by the most pleasant sound he had experienced since Maureen’s “yes” so many yesterdays past. “D--Da--Daddy?” Jenni had managed. Thomas came awake, eyelids pulling free of one the other to see his baby struggle with her own wherewithal. “Sweet Pea? Sweet Pea? You’re here?” He almost giggled. He had waited ten years to hear his baby. Ten years of prayer and wishes and hope. Illusions of grandeur had Thomas thinking that his daughter had moved in years past. It was a common faux pas, occurring when one sat for so long. Now, he had to wonder if it was such another occurrence. He touched her face and knew that reality, no GOD himself had blessed him with another who-knew-how-many moments with his returned from-the-wherever baby of his.