fire in my bones

Image by olemartin via Flickr

i havent stopped thinking about you
my soul aches and my legs shake in
anticipation of your precipitation
sensation all up and down my surround me
with brownie-like decadence
reference with the
lovesmith
my rose giving
is living proof of my desire
to fire proof what's ours

But fire hot
it is
i've scoured the universe
for the breath of yours
its gooey like smores
and somemore is in store
for us and trust is
first dibs on glib thought
wrought the falling of stars
war like mars and venus the love
heat between us and my penis
just wont quit
it's flame hot its lit live
while i'm inside your wide open
wild ride rise to the effect of your wonderful touch
cel see us burst the mercury
certainly i've not quite felt this way before

chay 2009

Still The Wind reposted from Xomba Blog

Image by ~jjjohn~ via Flickr

Still The Wind


I still feel the steel that is the wind rushes through my Sun Tzu crushes my pretend pretense gone as my sense to feel is strong like my love is strong i hope you aprreciate me deviate from
me i just caint paint a picture of the unstature of me saturate me in a state of seal my fate in great GOD's touch such as is the winds of HIS will my shield isn't visit my not so innocent but here i am Adam running for clothes as if now i'm in the know slow burn and cook sauted and sprayed into quaint little pieces of deceases from yesterday today ain't already steady would go the ship if i were approprately equipped quips of sips from the ice chips from sides of ships sailed from failed days melted to better from sunrayed prayed ways and stays high above what i was and was not im nuclear hot and what i got still what say the wind thrill sends chills to the base of my spine i'm intertwined with the translucent hands of time climb and i'm what the surviving grime of guts and get-back-out your rut is still the wind blown quickly gone from here to there near left care wisp around the world in one holy whirlwind ...and back again

chay 2009

One Day Less

Image via Wikipedia

your presence
casts a large shadow
on my pastorized
green meadow
she's a widow of men
not quite right
illicits shadow in the day
the way the moon eclipes
the sun

i run the race with panted breath
enchanted steps
maps kept hidden
lest the direction to my section
be prefaced with the enemy's compass

at last i'm at rest
with test passed
this one at least
at peace with the cease to be stressed
dressed in light fantastic
glad it's a cloudless Monday
one day less to the end of the week

chay 2009

Like Heaven

Image via Wikipedia

You make life worth living
You make love worth giving
I would be fibbing
If i told you my heart
Wasn't forgiving
It has a tendency to fall
From heights that would bring fright
To clouds


Shrouds of gray
Say Stay in your place
Know your ledge
I'd hedge my bets
Against all my past
Love debts
Since i have met
My heaven on earth
In you
True love turns skies black blue

chay 2009

Dakota

Image via Wikipedia

Dakota......

I know the
method to extract your spirit from
the sum of the sun
I'm one with the universe you share
I know you already
before you get there
I smell your soul
I taste your whole
and i love your below
because i'm a part of it
because i'm the start of it
the spark of it
is GOD's thought
long before i was
the buzz in my thigh
was merely the twinkling
of stars dressing the sky
the fly to the fusion in collusion
with the precision of collision
between your mother and the unseen
the dream mere hope
the smoke cleared
smiles crys wide eyed nervous fear
love induced produced you
i'll be waiting to introduce you
i'll see you when you get here

love,
daddy

The Light Manifest

Image by ucumari via Flickr

The Light Manifest

The Light Manifests itself

inside you along side you

guides you

hides you from the without

within begins within

and blends in soulful joy

enjoys and create the weight of The Heaventh

Wet with glistened joy

Listen......is it a girl? is it a boy?

Whisper remembers unto the scent of the Heavensent

Bent on forever in it's eyes

Crys creed annointed pointed to future colored skies

chay

The Love Scented Winds of August:Falling

Image by janusz l via Flickr

Tell me what to
Do to you
Oiled honeyed kisses
fuel
for the fire
that is building
burning a hole
in my chest
The rise and fall
of your breasts
causes unrest
as i anxiously try to figure
how to get you out that dress
that figure has blessed
Oh yes!

Lest we find
That we've run out
of time
help me find
the inner workings of your mind
Ah! your smile betrays
your thoughts
Let's get lost in
the love that is you
Two hearts beating as one
I want to slow down
but up comes the sun
Does the horizon signify
That we are done?

young hearts
love like old
but new
smiles glistening
like morning dew
few know
about us
what's
cool
is that we aren't
fools for love
we were chosen
I'm frozen in
step with every breath
we take together
towards the end of everything
laughing holding hands
singing toward forever

chay 2009

The Love Scented Winds of August: Bummed Out

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Reach into my passion
I'm a has been for love
I'm not above begging
perhaps someone will throw me
Some scraps
Some shred of dignity back
Fact is exactness
Aint needed
Pleaded with the Heavens
To drop the brethren
A crumb
A drop of love
Cupid is for the worthy
Not the dirty uncared for
Shared more or
less my soul
Confess the hole
In my center won't be filled

chay 2009

The Love Scented Winds of August:Better Than I

Image by andywon via Flickr

Wisened
My vision untainted
Painted Holy by THE MASTER
Disaster averted
'Cause I was alerted
By The ONE who knows me
Better than I know myself

chay 2009

The Love Scented Winds of August:Reflections Of

Image by Kassel via Flickr

Revelation
Of dedication
To my current situation
Persuasion's invasion
Into my heart
Sparks light into dark
Harken into hope
I may just navigate this slippery slope
Called love

chay 2009

The Love Scented Winds of August

Image by lrargerich via Flickr

It's Hot
Alot
of it
Is just me
Expect me
To free you
Unleash what I've created
For the next man?
The Ex-man is who I am not
We can fix this

I admit this
Is mainly on me
Only I can't recant
What I said last night
I know i wasn't right
Say something
.......anything
At least I can hear your voice
If we fight

The lightyear that's now between us
Must mean 'us'
Is rapidly heading
for extinction
No distinction between fact fiction
friction and the mission
of forever
it's now or never no time for
clever word play
I just have one thing to say
I LOVE YOU

Miracles In America

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

windpowered houred love
and the sentence is penance
for dilligence due
resilience from sparks
on dark black back
I won't attack
although exacting
revenge would singe
Old Glory further
Heard the shot
'round the sound of freedom
Let it ring
Let it ring

A thing of beauty
This land of ours
it knew me
by my blood mixed
in it's earthy mud
chewed cud
rehashed in our meats
reshed in our asphalted streets
and mixed in dog teeth
from the acts of oppression
all the aggression
I'm guessing my land
weeped in silence
watched all the senseless
violence against us

Hosed down
nose ground
pound after batoned pound
the sound of disbelief
pained grief
over those deceased
still i refuse to be down
not drowned in misery
over America's woeful history
my chemistry simply
mixed out a new batch
of my kind over time

I'm climbed to the
Sermon on the Mount
Too much to surmount
The touch from the Hand of GOD
prods me forward toward
the future thanks to blood lost
i'm blood bought

Not distraught
Though Ive milage
to go before I sleep
My love of the land
Still extends my hand
To my fellow man
Be it Caucus Creole or Creek
i seek asylum
inside them

my heart palpitations peak
deep
though withered
down but not beat
I'm alive heretothereof
I am love
We're
A Miracle In America

chay 2009

The Jokes On Me

Image by Madiator via Flickr

let that shit
do like on Alien
and just bust
right the fuck out my chest
less bullshit to deal with
let some other mutha fucka
clean up the mess
i got celestial chess to be playin'

what i'm sayin
is like some ole Marvin Gaye and such
bein on ths planet is enough to make you lose your lunch
a punch to the gut
and stuck in a revine on the side of the road to redemption
mission aborted with contorted thoughts
lost in the frost to costs due
debts unpayed
pull back the curtain' to find richard pryor
got dammit i been played
oz and the jokes on me jack
how the fuck do i get back?

terminal
ready to blow this bitch
but this time i got some shit to leave
before i do:
a heavy heapin dose of "fuck you"
for those
who know
they deserve it
and those who know but havent heard it
no way around it
no mistakin it
you heard it right
hold that shit
til it turns bleach white

contrite
but i don't expect understanding
grandstanding'll get ya head blown off
cough up the meds
but instead i'll swallow my pride
pour out a lil liquor for those fortunate dead
it's exactly what you think
exactly how i said

empty at peace
i won't cease
to be
it's temporary
at the body shop
waiting on the new model
i got hope in a bottle
and as they watch me work
the message will become clearer

Just What I Thought

Image by tEdGuY49® via Flickr

i got a shotgun shogun
mentality
run far far away
from reality
escape from the mindscape
relate to what awaits
the great unknown
faith
and Heaven
fate
the dark alone
i'm at home with that

landed on a place that's just mine
a climb from distance learning
earning a spot in infamy
limpin' be alright

the night be like daybreak for some
numb to all the neon
my freon is a system thing
rejected genetics
prophetics sugar and diabetics
i bet it's all the same in the end

friend or foe
osmosis comtoses
woes with great screaming
like a steaming hot cup o' joe
spilled on the lap
leap up and scrape away
spray the landscape
with your papal sayings
belay and belittle
with riddle and such
touch me tenderly with your betrayal
i expected as much

chay 2009

Look @ Me

Image by stage88 via Flickr

I GOT WINGS NOT
UNLIKE THAT THING THAT SINGS
AT THE BACK OF MY THROAT
I HOPE MY SMOTE
DOESNT TAINT YOUR VISION OF ME
MR INFINITY SENDING ME ONWARD
TOWARD THE LIGHT
I'M NOT QUITE WHAT'S RIGHT
I'M WHAT'S LEFT OF THE BREATH
OFTHE BEHEADED FORERUNNER OF CHRIST
I'M THE RIGHT OUT ON A WING
IGNORE YOUR WRONG
I'M 144,000 PLUS STRONG
PLUS ALL NIGHT LONG I GOT THIS
IN ME TO CONVINCE SOULS FORWARD
TOWARD THE TRUTH
YOU NEED PROOF?
LOOK @ ME

Up And Adam

Image via Wikipedia

I'm back and full
my gravitational pull
is as sudden
as a sneeze
i've got the keys
to the universe up my sleeve
grieve when it's time to grieve
but believe
always
till days become their last
and the past is no longer
i'm destined to fly higher
bigger faster
so much stronger
than even
yesterday
my today is absolute
although i fight the let go
i'm at least ten minutes wiser
that much more in the know
right up the street
is the reaper
collecting what i sow
slow about cutting
and gutting that portion
of me that ain't good
stubborn like a hundred year oak
in the woods
but GOD borne i got the goods
to make amends
heal wounds
and resume to exhume
souls supposed
to be meandering about in the dark

chay 2009

Burnt Lungs (On The Way Home Again)

busted open
like canalope n
overipened
my melody
oozes
what loses it's words quick
sick with stinch
i flinch as the open wounds
burn as i inch
my way
back to the highway of life
and breaths bereft
and kept close with difficulty
what we hoped was
it wouldn't come to this

this close to comatose
but i'm the toast of the heavenbound
clowned in earthly masquerade
i've made way to pay my dues
my less worsened blues
yet i refuse to give in

just then
in the nick of
the love of the annointing
illuminates
pointing to the way ever home
never no not once
was i alone
although my throat
was dry as bones
i managed enough to cry out
"Lord, have mercy on me"

Boy, did he ever!
drowning me in reverse
dispursing my sin
that was cursing me in
suspended anticipation
of ventilation
punch a hole in my soul
M'Lord that i might breathe again

chay 2009

The New Side

Image by buraianto via Flickr

whisper like whimsical
dim like the prism's full
of black light
but my nights of tossin'
and turnin'
burnin' in languished
anguish
are long gone
my new song is so strong
i just want to sing it all night long

a three pronged attacked
on my blackened outlook
shook off like dust
tape it together with trust
and paint it rouge
with a touch
of good old fashioned lust
it's a must that i stay in tuned
with the new lyrical swoon
wonderful miracles
on the blue side
no, the brand new side
of the moon

chay 2009

Jaded

I hate it when you say it
even when you think it
A ship
you could sink it with just a look
read through my soul
leave me exposed and naked
i wish i never fucked up Eden

bleedin' and needin' bandaged
damaged and ravaged
savage
i still manage
to my wayward feet
because defeat
know not i
no not i
know not why
i yet try again

are you my friend?
why would you be?
i can't see what you want me
to see
be the everyman you think
i should be
i'm almost not quite
quite the quagmired mess
mired in lack of desire
charcoaled over fire
illusion of together
atoms scattered
over tattered
battered worth

surf if you've the nerve
to perserve the contents
of your stomach
i caint when the mirror
comes calling
i go crawling back into the shadows
into the callowed shell
my internal hell
my fell into the abyss
all i got is this:
silent jaded screams
into the mist

chay 2009

Still I Am

Image by 1D110 via Flickr

Distant and resistant
to your flew
on who did that crap
over the cuckoo's nest
who knew the rest
would challange my manhood
my good and when i'm gotdamn ready
my steady hand
shaking uncontrollably
do i trust me?

CM me i'm all i got
as i plot to top my latest antics
in failure
mail it in
sit in this shit
marinate in sin
but damn that
lay prostrate
i'm still great
i just need to see it
and refocus the lens
im'a still win

i'm sick of we
it's now me
T-minus trust
thrust the rocket toward
the seemingly dream of me sky
live and let fly
try to catch if catch can
i'll be damned: i'm still a man

chay 2009

To The Next Sunrise

i cant and won't
rope and hopeless
but still i rock on
the dawn wants
what it wants
demands of my haunt
my hang out in my soul
my unmastered bastard
my loss of control

i wish and i will
thrillseek dante's peak
meek and mild
hide my wild
wide eyed smiled
at the villian in consumption

i came i saw
was conquered a long a lot
a time ago in the middle of the snow
as slow as it fell
as did i as dry wiped my eyes
im suprised i made it
to the next sunrise

chay 2009

A Hole In The Sun preview part II

Image by [ r ♥ c e y t ♥ y ] {I br♥ke for bokeh} via Flickr

A Hole In the Sun opening preview part II
2 months ago edit


Charlie smiled in his sleep as he thought of the wonders and bountiful essences it could carry inside. Charlie's Aunt Jean had brought it as a gift for him. It was the one thing he had received after his father left him to the merciless terror that his mother had become. Charlie's dad was his world for seven years until one day there was an argument and then nothing. No calls. No writing. Nothing. Daddy was. And then Daddy was not. Every time his mother saw little Charlie at that point, Charlie was a living testimony to heartache and a marriage gone south. Nothing Charlie could ever do was right. His lone oasis in his endless sandpit of a childhood was his Aunt Jean. Good ole Aunt Jean. Ever the optimist, when she came over, she seemed to make the world ok again even if just for a few hours. But the day came when Aunt Jean told Charlie that she was moving away for a job in the big city. "Charlie I will never be but a phone call away, you hear?" "You will always be my lucky charm Charlie-boy" he loved it when she called him that and Aunt Jean knew it. Except this time instead of the flashing wide grin she hoped for and loved herself, all she got were white hot tears. Endearingly looking down at him and caressing his soaked cheek, she offered of some encouragement, a kiss, and a promise. "I've got something for you, baby." See, this here is a magic box! In here are all the secrets in the universe. Whenever you open it, you just let your imagination run free baby. You can go wherever you want when you want. You can close your eyes and conjure up anything you 'lil ole heart desires. Now you remember your ole Aunt Jean and when you close those big pretty browns, think of me! Kiss for luck?" Charlie held the box tightly. It was as if Aunt Jean's ashes were in that box, along with his daddy's. It hurt but that box seemed to make things better. The box. The box he swore not to open until the next day after school. That box which held a whispered surprise inside. That box that Charlie stepped toward in his dream that caused so much excitement, that his thought long dead penis began to throb with life. Charlie kneeled above the box. Licking his lips in anticipation, he peered out of his bespectacled eyes and reached for the box like a man reaches for a woman on their first encounter. As he opens the box, Charlie crashes back into reality wondering, blinking blindly into the middle of the night realizing he isn't in Oz anymore, but back in Kansas with Antee M and his known sub universe that was his bed. He reaches for his glasses on the nightstand, and begins to do his nightly routine of opening his window to get a taste the night air. Stepping out of bed, he opens the window to a smell he hadn't experienced since that first day he mastered the mystic arts when he was 17, the familiar taste of magic. Suddenly, he falls onto the hard wooden floor, not of misbalance mind you, but of realization, the seams of the universe had busted a stitch. The lesion was open and all life was in peril again. He swallowed tightly as the night seemed to be alive, shivering with the thought of having to muster the courage to close the hole in the sun once again.

Glimpse of Glory

Image via Wikipedia

its the morning after
no mourning those
bastards that plastered
my kind
so my rhymes could
exist
sacrifice over time
grime grit and
savage bullshit
im a master of it all

your mind is too small
to crawl out that hole
your soul too simple
as i unwrinkle the ripples
in the middle of the universe
and disperse your ashes
in the back of the hertz
first before it crashes

imagine the tragic damage
done for my sake
step to
it's your wake
awakened from what
was taken
shaken and not stirred
the lines between seen and invisible
blurred
it never occurred to them
that i'm borne of glory

...that's just a glimpse
of my story

chay 2009

Moments Of Peace part I

Image by MahPadilha via Flickr

The Distance insistant
on my miscreant thoughts
harbored by wet whispered silence
tow the line between mental crime
for nary a rhyme or reason

Season two made me understand
how no one could love me like my hand
I'm just a man in this grand plan
but damn if it ain't some kind of ham
to breathe in this thing called life

I tried the hubby and wife thing
the ring held me hostage
to avoidance and nawcious rawcous
interactions with no satisfaction
to the point where there Stones sang
about the road to rain
and opportunity for pain
that proved what?

Im a product of mistake and recreate
similarity in fate
but of late i don't care anymore
the world being my oyster
isn't all this small window of being is
seeing is proof put in perspective
i'm selective about what i want

a simple moment of peace
a reason to cease with the rough and tumble seas
i just want calm waters
and a good life for my son and daughters
away with the bullshit that relations seem to create
since creation

chay 2009

Fight

Image by Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com) via Flickr

It's been a fight to get this writing thing going. At times,

it is a war with self to even fire up the laptop. The good

thing is that GOD is faithful. And although you may step

away.....HE does not. HE is so faithful and just. HE just

moved my boss and friend to the next level of his life.

It is a wonerful thing to have THE MAKER of all things

to take HIS time with me and to not only remember me but love me while the universe bends to

HIS will!

August

I trust you won't let love

See The light of day

if you had the say

there's no way in the wind

our love could be

me i caint wait

to be annointed your saint

in our quaint little town setting

a wedding in white

your knight in shining

climbing to crest

at rest on the rise and fall

i feel small on your breasts

i'm two again

friends and foes alike slow and search

destroy and rebulid

advance and yield

romance and feel for your soul

control you can have it all

i want just a wisp of the breeze

in your hair

i miss your depth ive wept over

missing your supernova

now its all black

life no spark

if i was smart i'd start to run

but i can't live in closure

i need overexposure to your sun

Preview of A Hole In The Sun

I am putting the finishing touches on chapter 8 and started chapter 9 of Angelhunter

I also started an unedited raw opening of a future novel: A Hole In The Sun...a sequel to lol...a future novel Magicman. Here's a preview:

Charlie awakened with the same dream every night in a cold sweat. He was running home from school. He could not wait to get home. The thought of his arrival made him salivate in his sleep. His breathing took on an excited labor with each step as he ran from the bus. Charlie could hear the school bus door open as if he were really there. He never told the staff doctor about the dreams. The physician would certainly prescribe more of the rancid medicines they already gave him. He knew that his meds helped to keep him alive. And alive is just what he always needed to be. Charlie wanted to be as sober as possible. Who else could possibly warn everyone about the tear in the back of the universe should it rip free again? No, he must remain vigilant at all times. The dream was the little snippet of allowance he took every night for himself. The same seductive nightmare played over and over and over again. Charlie silently smiled as his palpitations eased into a warm feeling in his soul. It was like a heroin addict running panting sprinting to finally find his favorite needle. He was flooded with that joy for his fix. Charlie's REM was steady but jumping, almost twitching his eyes out their orbital traps. His hand readied the seemingly giant door to his room. He squeezed the knob and gripped it like a child hold a box at Christmas, still in awe that it's potential contents could be his. Charlie's treasures await him with but a twist of the wrist and subsequently he was bathed in a deep yellow light. It was a summer time light that marked the coming of the fall as the sun would be chased away by the rich but chilly pre winter changes. The light could've come from ...what did his friend from so long ago call it? .....The Heaventh....? Yes, that was it....The very Heaventh itself. Strange it was to hear the -th at the end of Heaven, it gave it the realm an importance that Charlie would never understand until he met his Maker on that great and awesome day. Until then, Charlie has this Heaventh: the little black box.

Notorious

I have been chasing this dream......

...ok more like walking and taking stops along this weird path I have journeyed. I am notoriously unmotivated in spurts. Yet I'm incredibly fired up at the most recent degree of annoyance. My job doesn't really push me to that point. It's jobs period. I find it hard to get up and clock in. I feel like the guy in 'Wanted'. I just want to jump up and yell the F word and walk! But then my inner enemy would just slowly walk me down. I would soon return to the old mundane life. That's just me. but Iv'e had circumstances that have forced me to get off my duff and produce. To the point of where I've been afforded internet access and give no choice but to write. Hence, the logo: Indigo Press lives. I just want to write. I think we all are given the internal fire to chase our dreams. What motivates you? What will inspire that change? I had suffered setbacks probably most if not all of 2009. But I still feel as if I am on the brink of greatness. Self determined greatness defined by being able to do what is calling me internally: write. What makes you tick? What inspires you? Find that fire, as I struggle through the muck and mud that is my ever-notorious enemy: me.