Jaded

I hate it when you say it
even when you think it
A ship
you could sink it with just a look
read through my soul
leave me exposed and naked
i wish i never fucked up Eden

bleedin' and needin' bandaged
damaged and ravaged
savage
i still manage
to my wayward feet
because defeat
know not i
no not i
know not why
i yet try again

are you my friend?
why would you be?
i can't see what you want me
to see
be the everyman you think
i should be
i'm almost not quite
quite the quagmired mess
mired in lack of desire
charcoaled over fire
illusion of together
atoms scattered
over tattered
battered worth

surf if you've the nerve
to perserve the contents
of your stomach
i caint when the mirror
comes calling
i go crawling back into the shadows
into the callowed shell
my internal hell
my fell into the abyss
all i got is this:
silent jaded screams
into the mist

chay 2009